Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Terrible, Horrible...

Today when John got home I cried big crocodile tears. Tears that steal your breath and shake your core. Tears I didn't even know were coming until he walked through the door. Tears that couldn't even begin to wash away our day. 

John was out of town last night, so of course Charlie, my champion sleeper, wouldn't go to sleep and wouldn't stay asleep. (Is the full moon sleeping curse a real thing?) At 3:00 am, I thought I was losing my mind. At 5:30 am, I was sure of it. We had meltdowns about diaper changes, nose wiping, books being stuck, going to the library, lunch, etc. At 12:30, I laid Charlie in bed and prayed he'd sleep until the next morning. At 12:33 when the tree trimmers pulled up across the street, I knew I was in for a long afternoon. He never slept, not a wink, and somehow our terrible day got worse. We had meltdowns about meltdowns. 

Basically since his failed nap, I'd been sitting outside, reading Charlie his Ranger Rick, cutting up an apple and handing it to him in an almost comatose state. The energy literally sucked right out of my bones. Simply biding my time until John walked through the door, and when he did, I was out of here. I'd planned my escape, but when he showed up, I couldn't even muster the energy. So I cried, finished cooking dinner and we sat with Chuck as he melted down for the 29,000th time today. 

My patience needs some work. My body needs some sleep. My head surely realizes how easy our norm is, but I'm not certain I needed today to appreciate that. Bring us sleep, bring us peace, bring that sweet, flower-wielding Charlie back. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Love

"Ho, Hey" came on the radio yesterday, and since it's not 2012 anymore that's now a random occurrence. You started beaming in the backseat and shouting Hey! about one second too late everytime. We pulled up to a stoplight, so I turned around and sang with you. You were enamored. You sat mouthing words you don't know and smiling wildly as I sang and sang and sang. Your eyes locked in on mine, and we had a total moment. And in that moment, I'm certain I've never been cooler or more loved, and I can guarantee my singing's never met more fanfare. 

I'm fully aware that there will be many moments in our future, probably years of moments, where my singing in the car won't be quite as captivating. Probably sooner than I'm ready, it'll annoy the crap out of you that I know all the words to way too many songs. I realize silent rides are on the distant horizon. But for now I'm your girl, and you're my little guy. For now, I'm it for you. And as the light turned green and tears literally streamed down my face, I think I finally fully realized what this mother/son gut-wrenching love is. So grateful you're mine. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

20 Months!

Mama, hold you! Mama, where are you? Mama, hold you! Mama, where are you? Mom, the meatloaf! Okay, so maybe not the meatloaf, but the first two phrases are constants in our house this month. You are officially Mama obsessed. You only want me to dress you, make you food, get you out of your bed, change your diaper (thanks especially for this one), buckle you into your car seat, etc. etc. Weirdly you seem to mind less when I'm leaving lately, mostly not at all, but when I'm around, it's you and me, bud. 


Just about everything lately is "hmmmmmm..." or "gollllly!" And as per usual in the last few months, your words just grow and grow. You think about pretty funny things like Harriet, the cat across the street, riding a bike, or Stanley driving a motorcycle, and we're loving getting to know what's going on in that sweet little head. Uh-oh spaghetti-o is a new crowd pleaser, although you try to find ways to use it as often as possible which meant throwing things out of the cart at the grocery store last week. Let's just say it wasn't my favorite trip to the store. We spent time at the new Children's Museum this month - it's a magical place, at the Mozart's light show and celebrating Henley's 2nd birthday, and of course we went to visit Santa. You were really excited to see Santa and walk into the workshop, but as soon as it came time to sit on his lap, you lost it. And honestly, I couldn't stop laughing. You hardly ever get that upset, and it just ended up being the most perfect picture. The contrast of you and Santa's face is just fantastic.




Christmas was just way too much fun, and you had so many celebrations. Some of my sweet friends had you over for milk and cookies and spoiled you with balls, trucks and turtles, and it was the best way to get you ready for the big day. When Christmas came around you knew just what to do. "Openit!" (Always one word and always exclaimed.) It was our very first year to wake up in our own house on Christmas, and it was a magical day. You were shocked to find presents for you under the Christmas tree, and after we'd opened presents and eaten breakfast, you walked over to the tree, picked out a present and said, "One more, mama...one more. It's okay!" Your dad decided we better start holding back one present for you. You were totally fine when I said it wasn't for you and reminded you of all the cool things you already opened, but I guess it never hurts to ask! We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas night at your GaGa and PaPa's house, and boy, do they know how to have fun! You ran around the house with your cousins and played and played and played and ate more ham than should be humanly possibly for someone your size. We headed to Dallas later that week and celebrated with Poppy & Marge on Friday night. You got to stay up extra late playing with all your new loot, and Saturday was our last Christmas celebration at GiGi & Pop's. Woooo-eeee. You got to ride your scooter outside and play with all your sweet cousins. What a great weekend we all had! Christmas was more fun than ever this year, and you were pretty sad to see it all come to an end. But New Years rolled around, and we got to have Madi and Jackson come stay at your house...oh my gosh! What could be better than having your two oldest cousins to play with all day everyday? Heaven. We did the annual Polar Bear Plunge into Barton Springs this year; the water was cold cold cold and you jumped right in and promptly jumped right out! We headed back to the house to eat breakfast, play with friends, and watch football. It was the perfect way to kick-off the new year!




2014 promises to be a magical year. I can't believe we're gonna have a two year old! I love you sweet boy and the amazing kid you're turning out to be.