Sunday, October 1, 2017

June Anne

Sweet gal. Carrying you was one of my bigger challenges. Almost immediately, you made me sicker than I've ever been, and the "morning" (read: all day) sickness lasted well into the second trimester. Basically, I grew you on bagels and goldfish and sometimes nachos for a good 20 weeks. By the time we overcame the nausea, I was gigantic (amazing what an all-carb diet will do for the bod), and we were wading into the dog days of summer. We moved slow, found lots of cold water to wade in, and celebrated all the air-conditioning wherever we could find it. We powered through the summer, but by mid-August I was so ready to see your face. We negotiated with you that if you'd just let us get Charlie settled in kindergarten, you could come any time after, and then it was let us make it to back-to-school night, and then it was Labor Day weekend, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get you out! Dr. Oliver was worried about you getting as big as your brother, so we scheduled a c-section for Sept. 7th, but if you came anytime before that, she was willing to let me VBAC. We'll never know what worked because we literally did all the things - spicy foods, hikes, Evening Primrose, reflexology massages (I'm looking at you Beijing Foot massage), red raspberry tea, trigger-point therapy, labor-inducing chili recipes, etc. etc.

I woke up Sunday morning with a real wonderful energy. It was the most beautiful day, and we spent the morning playing with Charlie, I ducked out for a bit to get a foot massage with Kacie, Charlie headed to Gaga and Papa's house for a cousin playdate, and your dad and I dedicated our afternoon to get-this-baby-out bootcamp. We met the Wahlers' crew for dinner, and then headed home for a real regular kind of night. For the last few months, I've been up a million times in the night, so when I woke up at 1:00 a.m., I figured it was just another trip to the bathroom. When my feet hit the floor, I knew you were gearing up to greet us. I tried to breathe through contractions calmly and quietly like I'd done with Charlie, but it became clear that a calm and quiet shower was not in my future, so I woke your dad up, and immediately contractions were two minutes apart. Your dad called Gaga and Papa so they could hang with Charlie while we took off for the hospital, and as I sat quietly in the car breathing through contractions, their car almost literally flew around the corner of our street. Your grandparents executed their role flawlessly. 

It was a quick trip to Seton Main at two in the morning, and I assured your dad that I could make my way to the maternity ward by myself while he parked the car, and while I really genuinely felt like I could do it at the moment, when the first door was locked, and I had to go around to the ER entrance, giving birth on the helipad seemed like a real good option. Slowly, I made it up to the second floor and was easing into a wheelchair as your dad joined us. They wheeled me back, and the midwife congratulated me on being so far along and promised to get us right back because certainly this baby was coming soon. A quick birth (after an epidural) sounded just magical. True to their word, they got us settled quickly, and the anesthesiologist made quick work of the epidural, but your arrival was anything but quick. 

At five o'clock, I started pushing, at 7:30, without much success, we transitioned nurses, and the amazing Stephanie took over promising she'd see me through a successful VBAC. At some point, I whimpered to your dad that I just wished Tania would get there. I wasn't even sure what I needed from her, but when she peeked around the corner, I felt overcome with relief. As usual, Tania quietly championed me and validated all the things that were going on in that room and then excused herself to give your dad and me some time alone. You'll surely learn this about her in time, but Tania loves her people so well. She shows up in all the right ways always. We continued to push, but by 8:30, the on-call doctor at the end of her 48-hour shift was pushing for a c-section and defeat washed right over me. It was complete deja vu transporting us right back to your big brother's birth - my body did all the right things, but ultimately, he wouldn't budge. I asked for thirty more minutes with you, and as the doctor walked out of the room, your dad and Stephanie and I went back to work. Turning me every which way and pouring all kinds of positivity over me, we worked and worked to get you to stay down. If you ever need someone to champion you, look no further than your dad. I've never felt more supported than the morning of your birth. With every breath, your dad was willing me to push through, pulling me towards the end-goal, and believing in my body's strength. Looking at the clock at 8:45 and knowing I only had 15 minutes left, something overcame me, and I was flooded with the knowledge of my beautiful, strong friends who I knew were praying over you and me all morning - this sisterhood of women that knew exactly what we were working towards. When the doctor walked in at 9:00 looking surprised at our progress, she called in all the reinforcements, and you did it, little girl. You eased right down, and at 9:18, we finally got to see your sweet face. You came out just perfectly beautiful. 


The Labor and Delivery team was shocked at the parade of visitors that were eager to meet you, but most importantly, your brother strolled back like a proud peacock immediately ready to scoop you right up. Your dad helped him get situated, and we watched the most beautiful relationship begin as he sweetly whispered to you, "Good morning, June. How's life outside the belly?" You settled right in cooing back at him, and he happily declared that y'all were already talking to each other. My heart exploded, and I just know your heart will always belong first to your sweet big brother. He loves you fiercely, and that all-consuming, overwhelming kind of love is just real hard to refuse. We bolted from the hospital after one night eager to get you home and settle into our new norm. Tania and GiGi stocked our house with all sorts of goodies, and then just like that we were doing life as a family of four. It all feels just right.  

You've set our family on a whole new beautiful course. Thanks for joining us, sweet gal. 







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