Finding our Rhythm

On Thursday, we'll have a one month old, and as tired as we are, I know neither of us can believe that a month is already gone. Charlie is quickly figuring out a schedule, and John and I are finding our rhythm. Admittedly, we've had A LOT of help. Well, let's be honest...we've been utterly spoiled. We've had DELICIOUS meals delivered by amazing family and friends almost every day, lots of loving visitors, and my mom was here for three weeks...yes, she was planning on two, but when the time came, we weren't ready for her to go, she wasn't ready to leave and it worked out perfectly to just add an extra week and drive her to Dallas when we went for my nephew's fourth birthday party. And if I had to do it all over again, I'd do it exactly the same. Of course, John and I are figuring it out without her guidance and expertise, and it's so fun to be our own little family, but we got an enormous jumpstart because she was kind enough to come love on Charlie, cheer us on and help us through the rough patches. Which of course there have been rough patches. We've had moments of complete frustration and several mini-meltdowns. As I've said before, I'm not sure anyone really talks about what this first part of parenting is like, and over the last couple of weeks, I've found myself thinking that "early parenting" is just another thing that people are scared to communicate about, falling into the category of finances, politics, relationships, etc., and wishing that people would have really talked to us about it. I received a sheet from the hospital that said you might have the baby blues if you are:

1. Emotional
2. Feeling inept
3. Experiencing mood swings
4. Feeling overwhelmed

Seriously? Not to minimize post-partum depression, but if this is the criteria then I think all new mothers (and fathers for that matter) probably have the baby blues on some level. It's hard. This is the most challenging thing I've ever done, and I'm lucky because I have an amazingly sweet baby, a kind, loving, and patient husband that loves challenges - he thrives on them actually - and a wonderfully supportive family. I've been around little kids my entire life, but it doesn't even kind of compare. As my brother asked, is it crazy when he cries in the middle of the night and you think oh shit...that's for me? It is crazy but crazy in the best possible way. As we sleepily stumble to Charlie's room in the middle of the night to change him and get him ready to eat, it's this unbelievable mix of pure exhaustion (oh if he'd just slept another thirty minutes...) and the deepest love. When we console Charlie after one of his fits of intense rage (the kid hates to be lotioned up), it is better than winning any prize. And when Charlie snuggles in and calmly drifts off to sleep, there are absolutely no words. Here we have this tiny, precious, innocent little guy that needs us like we've never been needed before. So now I'm not sure if it's just that no one really talks about what the first part of parenting is like or if no one really remembers. Sleep deprivation does crazy things. Love does even crazier things. And the over-whelming love and happiness we feel for Charlie (even through his crankiest moments...come over from about 6:00 - 9:00 pm if you want a preview of the little beelzebub that appears for a few hours every day) makes me believe that we'll probably forget the rough patches too. There's just way too much joy to focus on, and we do believe in focusing on the joy and utter greatness of the challenge Charlie has presented us. Some of our joy these last couple of weeks... first hello's, goodbye's, English department luncheons, birthday parties, road trips and everything in between.

Final day with GiGi...doesn't he look so much bigger?!

The grimace is intense, but I swear it's love!

First meeting with Poppy Jim

First meeting with Uncle Kevin

Sweetly napping

Stan patiently waiting for a treat or to go outside or for a little attention...

First meeting with Uncle Jason & Aunt Candy

Tummy time!

Pure bliss