The Delicate Balance

When I think about the kind of mom I want to be so much of that person is wrapped up in the examples I have surrounding me. I have two older sisters that are total bosses of moms, a second mom, Patty, that I think might just have hung the moon and then there's my mom. If John and I can swing it, I hope Charlie has as many memories of me at his school, watching all his extra-curriculars and being his very biggest cheerleader because that's what my mom was for me. There was never a play, band concert (didn't know I play a mean clarinet, did you?!), football game, pep-rally, field trip, or track meet that my mom wasn't in attendance. How'd I get so many amazing teachers? Oh, my mom was the PTA president for approx. 99 years running and somehow my schedule always just kind of fixed itself. Part of what I loved so much about school was that my mom was such a huge part of it.

Sure she's a little crazy, but I hope Chuck thinks I'm just a tad off my rocker too because that means I've made time for him, I've cared, and I've bugged him a little. My mom bugged me - Where are you going? Who's going to be there? Are so and so's parents going to be home? My curfew was way earlier than most of my friends. I got read the riot act if I was 10 seconds late. And my mom literally smelled my hands when I walked in to kiss her goodnight to make sure I wasn't smoking. Now that's crazy, but I'm certain I would have gotten into a lot more trouble if she wasn't looking out for me and keeping me honest. Sure I still broke the rules, let her down and, of course, we had the occasional mother/daughter meltdown, but my mom is always there.

I was probably one of the only incoming freshman at Texas State in utter dev.as.tation mode because my mom was leaving. Standing outside of the Jackson dorm sobbing louder than any self-respecting girl would allow herself to, I literally thought I was going to die. So my mom went down to San Antonio for the weekend and came back through on Sunday before classes started to take me to lunch and make sure I was settling in. She was always good at that - letting me go, slowly. And I hope Charlie thinks I'm good at that too because I anticipate the hardest thing about being a parent might just be letting your kids find their footing in that delicate balance without your help but with your safety net.

Thanks for the love, support and safety net. Happy birthday, Sheilanavarifar.